


Understandings

by Daydreamer



Series: Seaswept Pirates [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Male Friendship, Physical Abuse, Pirates, Romance, Seaswept, Side Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-22
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-11-19 07:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreamer/pseuds/Daydreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shikamaru Nara has shirked the duties given him by his captain off onto another and now must pay for his mistake. Can friendship and even something more be grown from suffering? Side story to Seaswept.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was meant to be read in conjunction with Seaswept. If you read it as a stand alone piece, you probably won't really understand some of what is going on. I apologize, but I did not write this to be read alone. This takes place after the events in Ch. 13 of Seaswept but before the events in Ch. 14.
> 
> I don't own Naruto nor do I make money from it.
> 
> Art by Gaia77 http://gaia77.deviantart.com/

[ ](http://s125.beta.photobucket.com/user/daydreamer79/library/)

"Captain Jiraiya?"

Intense blue eyes turned to the voice and a hand was removed from beneath the skirt of the wench seated on his lap. "What has Pein done now?"

Shikamaru blinked slowly. "Captain, there is still an issue with the _Cloud_ that needs resolving."

"Tsunade…why did you leave me?" Jiraiya shoved the wench from his lap and heaved his heavy and muscular body to his feet. "What's the problem, lad?"

"There is a prisoner being kept in the hold."

Jiraiya frowned noticeably. "Still?"

"Aye, sir." Shikamaru shivered under the stern gaze. "I…was hoping Pein would recover his facilities and decide his fate or at least officially turn him over to you."

Jiraiya shook his head, causing long white locks to fall free from the loose queue. "And I thought you were the smart one."

Shikamaru's face flushed in embarrassment. He had assigned Deidara to ensuring the Hyuuga prisoner was adequately fed and watered. Foisting the task assigned him by his captain onto another was done for a very particular reason. Those pearly glazed eyes of Neji Hyuuga caused uncomfortable shivers to dance up his spine. They as unreadable as a blind man's eyes, yet he knew with certainty they could see perfectly. He did not like being unable to read a man's eyes.

If not for a random thought occurring in the back of his mind while he sat playing a round of dice with some of the lads, he would have likely never thought bring the issue up. Over a fortnight had passed and still there was no sign of Pein recovering enough to take on the responsibilities of a ship. It was rare for the crew of the _Crimson Cloud_ to spend two weeks on land with no idea when they would set sail again. Though the captain was quick to return home once business was finished, the pull of the sea once more had the lads sailing out with only a moment's rest on shore. From the look of the captain's current state, it would be quite a while before he was capable of captaining the _Cloud_. Shikamaru's only other option was to garner advice from Kisame, who then ordered him to seek out the advice of Jiraiya. 

"Take me to him." Jiraiya shook his head again and clomped from the tavern, an annoyed expression played across his face at his carousing being interrupted. "Konan's death is becoming quite a bit more annoying than I anticipated."

Shikamaru agreed with the statement. He wanted to return to the sea. The draw of the ocean was strong and being trapped on land created longing to once more feel the spray of seawater and the sway of the boat. The clouds always seemed fuller and fluffier from the top of the crow's nest.

They traveled along the road and down to the dock where the _Cloud_ was being repaired by several of Jiraiya's trusted carpenters. The rigging was being restrung and the sails were replaced with freshly sewn material. Even the name blazed upon the aft of the ship was receiving a fresh coat of crimson paint.

Jiraiya ignored the calls from the workers and hunched down to head below deck with Shikamaru trailing behind him. His features grew fierce as the smell of urine and feces wafted into their faces. Below deck always held an odor but never this powerful.

The odor caused Shikamaru to gag slightly and bring the edge of his shirt over his nose. The sight greeting him was not what he expected. It was not more of the stubbornly fierce features or intense glares always directed towards him whenever he came below. Instead only the sound of weak, ragged breathing and fever glazed eyes met his gaze.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."

Jiraiya snatched the key from the hook near the door and immediately opened the cell. Bloody scabs lined Hyuuga's wrists as the manacles were removed. There was not a trace of food or a drop of water in the basin. Only a full waste bucket displayed evidence of Deidara's neglect.

"Fucking Hell!" Jiraiya's large frame lifted the man into his arms like a child. He said nothing to Shikamaru as he passed by him but the stiffness of his body spoke loudly enough that he knew to follow least he be punished for the state the Hyuuga man was in.

Shikamaru had never seen Jiraiya so furious. His normally ruddy cheeks were flaring red and his body moved stiffly as he carried the man onto the deck.

"Get me some fucking water."

The carpenters working topside rushed to obey the command. They might not sail with Jiraiya, but he was the ruler of this little island. Unless they wanted to end up at the end of his pistol, they would do anything he requested to stay in his good graces.

A water skin was pressed into Jiraiya's hand. He took the bladder and squeezed a small dribble of water over pale, cracked lips. For a long instant, there was no response. Then, long lashes fluttered up and the cracked lips parted to allow more of the water to flow inside. A slender hand lifted and latched onto Jiraiya's wrist to bring the skin closer.

"Who is responsible for this?"

Shikamaru stiffened. Instinct told him to blame this on Deidara. It was Deidara whom he placed the chore of dealing with Neji Hyuuga. He wanted to foist the blame on another as easily as he had the chore of tending to Hyuuga, but could not. It was his job, given him by his captain. Even if he assigned others to the task, it was ultimately on his head to take responsibility for those he chose to place the task upon.

"I am."

Jiraiya grunted and pulled the water from Neji. "I expected more from you, Shikamaru. I trained you myself before placing you with Pein."

"I understand."

"You don't understand!" Jiraiya's eyes flared. "Never has a prisoner been treated in such a fashion by any man under my command…and that includes your captain. How could you allow this to happen?"

A fresh wash of shame spread through Shikamaru, settling like nausea in his stomach. "I turned over the duties to another when we arrived in port…but I take full responsibility."

"You're fucking right you do." Jiraiya lifted Neji into his arms once more and carried him towards one of the workmen's carts. He immediately barked orders at the carpenters, and they began to remove the remaining equipment from the cart.

"Don't just stand there. Get your ass up here and help me settle him."

Shikamaru jerked from his thoughts at the shout and rushed onto the cart. He helped adjust the rough blanket and pulled Neji onto it with the help of one of the carpenters. He cringed at the smell coming from him and the scabs encircling his wrists. In the light of day, he looked twice as horrendous as he had in the hold. His thick hair was matted and oily with grime. This was not the overconfident man with fierce eyes he'd seen the day the ship pulled into port.

Shikamaru moved to hop from the cart once Neji was settled when a hand shot out and latched onto his wrist. Words he could not understand spilled forth from cracked lips. Those strange pale eyes stared wildly at him and he understood. Neji thought him someone other than himself.

Unable to move away from the wild, fevered stare of those unusual eyes, he settled beside Neji on the pallet and nodded to Jiraiya. He would stay. The guilt was upon him to ensure this man received care. His hand pulled free the bony fingers and wrapped their hands together. He had seen with his own eyes just how deadly Hyuuga hands could be, but these hands looked thin, dirty, and brittle.

The ride to Jiraiya's home was short. In only a matter of minutes, the cart was pulling to a stop before the massive mansion. Naruto, boisterous as ever, bolted from the front and stared into the back of the cart with wide, curious blue eyes.

"Who is he? What happened to him?" rattled off Naruto.

Shikamaru did not know how to answer, and Jiraiya only grunted. "Go inside, boy, and have one of the guest bedrooms prepared."

Naruto paled visibly at Jiraiya's harsh tone and rushed into the house while shouting for one of the servants. His slim body moved quickly and soon he was disappearing through the open door.

Shikamaru moved to remove his wrist from the capturing fingers. As he begain to loosen the grasp, Neji's fingers tightened and the pale eyes went wide. Panic set in almost instantly and Shikamaru shot a look towards Jiraiya's grim face.

Jiraiya scooped Neji in his arms once more and carried him towards the house despite his weak struggles to remain with Shikamaru. His wide eyes searched and found Shikamaru's gaze and more mumbled gibberish spouted from his lips.

Jiraiya paused halfway up the steps. "Coming?"

Shikamaru started and rushed towards where Jiraiya still stood. "Aye, captain."

"I recognize this Hyuuga," growled Jiraiya as they walked towards the curving staircase encompassing the foyer. "This lad has noble blood in him."

Eyes wide, Shikamaru stared at the slumped body cradled in Jiraiya's arms. "Noble?"

"Hyuugas were a noble clan in the east until a few generations back. They fled their home and took up residence in secret. I don't know their specific reasons but I swore an oath to keep the location of their home secret. Trade with them was more than profitable enough to keep their home a secret." Jiraiya paused and turned angry eyes to Shikamaru. "Tell me, why your crew has broken that trust and imprisoned one of them?"

"He attacked the ship," argued Shikamaru. "His being a Hyuuga is the only reason the captain didn't kill him where he stood. We were bringing him back for you to decide his fate."

Jiraiya grunted and walked towards the room Naruto stood at. "Foolish boy. Why would he attack the ship?"

"It was a suicide attack. The men attacking were barely competent to hold a weapon, much less use it. He was the only dangerous one among them. There was a look in their eyes that spoke volumes. They planned to die."

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed as he lowered Neji to the bed. "They were Hyuugas?"

"If you mean did they have those strange eyes, no. Fishermen and villagers according to him." Shikamaru nodded in Neji's direction. "He stood out from them."

Jiraiya folded his arms over his chest and turned to Shikamaru. "I'll have Naruto bring up some clean water. Clean up this man while I send for Dan."

Shikamaru winced and settled beside Neji. His startling eyes were closed, dark sooty lashes laying against shadowed flesh. The sharp bones in his cheeks were even more prominent and the skin a sallow, sickly color. He looked to be on his deathbed, and Shikamaru feared Dan's arrival would come too late.

"I've got some water."

He turned to see the towheaded boy struggling with a large pitcher of water. His skinny arms lifted the container and began pouring the crystalline water into a basin on the bedside table. He was Naruto, Jiraiya's grandson and likely his heir once he came of age. From what little Shikamaru knew of him, he was a good-hearted boy.

"He looks thirsty," commented Naruto when he finished his chore. "Should we give him some to drink?"

Shikamaru extracted a knife from his pocket. "No. We should wait until Dan arrives. It might make him sick."

His nose wrinkled as he cut away the soiled garments. They were mostly worthless and stunk heavily of urine, sweat, and sickness. Cutting them away was the easier task than attempting to salvage them.

He wasn't surprised at the lean muscle revealed. The bones of his ribcage were slightly more prominent than was healthy and his stomach was sunken in, but the lack of nutrition could not hide the powerful, lean build. Even had his body not been unclothed, seeing the way he moved when facing Pein was evidence enough of how dangerous of a man he was. 

Shikamaru dipped a cloth in the water and began wiping away the grime from his face. He could see the beginnings of worry lines at the edges of his closed eyes and in the turned down nature of his lips. He was careful of the cracked flesh as he moved the cloth downward, washing an elegant neck and broad shoulders.

A pristine and unmarked body was revealed as inch after inch of the flesh was cleansed of grime. As a fighter, he expected to see marks of training, but instead was greeted by nothing but perfect skin. The only blemishes were the marks made by the shackles binding his wrists.

As he continued to wash, he found himself blushing upon reaching the lower half of the body. An average sized cock lay partially concealed by foreskin against a bed of dark curls. The flesh was just as pale as the remainder of his body, and just as elegant. Shikamaru made quick work of cleaning that area, and then moved towards the legs and feet. He was just finishing up the task when Jiraiya entered with Dan.

"Fuck me," hissed Dan through his teeth. "What happened, Shikamaru?"

"I turned the care of him over to Deidara." Having to repeat his shame time and again was a harsher punishment than anything Jiraiya could place on him.

Dan sent Shikamaru a withering gaze. It was well known that aboard the ship, Deidara was as reliable as the next person. Not being so could have Pein breathing down his neck with a pistol aimed at his head. On land, the rules governing them were lax, especially so for Deidara.

Shikamaru clenched his hands into fists at his side. He had known reassigning the care of their prisoner was a mistake, but the startling look of those pale eyes decreased his normal intelligence. All he could think of was staying as far away as he could.

"He's dehydrated and malnourished. I'm less worried about the malnourishment. It's easier to die from dehydration." Dan lifted a limp wrist to count his pulse. "Two weeks without water should have killed him."

"He could have conserved his water."

Dan leaned forward and sniffed Neji's lips and neck. "Or drink piss."

Shikamaru gagged. It was well known among sailors that should one find themselves without water, urine could be used temporarily to stave off dehydration. He had never been in such straits requiring him to do so, but the tales from old sailors spoke of times lost at sea with limited previsions.

"Smart lad." Dan stood from the bed. "It probably saved his life."

Jiraiya entered the room with a scowl. "Well?"

"Give him fluids. Keep his food bland and light. Broths with maybe a little bit of bread crumbled in it. The rest is up to his body."

"And the fever?"

Dan shrugged and withdrew a package from his bag. "I'll leave some willow tree bark for tea, otherwise, wash him down with cool water and keep giving him fluids. That's all we can do. The rest is up to God."

"He's your responsibility, Shikamaru." Jiraiya turned and exited the room. "I'll have the maid bring up some food. If he dies, it's on your hands. Come, Naruto. It's time for your lessons."

"They're boring."

"None of that or I'll take a strap to your hide."

Naruto snorted as if knowing an empty threat when he heard one, but followed Jiraiya from the room. Dan accompanied them, leaving Shikamaru alone to nurse the sick Hyuuga back to health.

Shikamaru's gaze slid to where Neji remained unmoving. If not for the slight movement of his chest with each breath, and the feverish flush to his cheeks, he might have thought him dead. It brought on another clenching in the pit of his stomach and he feared he might vomit from the bile rising in his throat and burning his nostrils.

The voices grew distant as they left him alone with his charge. In the corner of his vision, he saw the house maid bring in a large pitcher of fresh water and pour the foul, soiled water from the basin. She gave a small curtsey and exited the room.

His hand pressed to the dry flesh of Neji's brow. Heat radiated upward, causing Shikamaru to wince. The fever was burning hard and ravishing his weak body.

Shikamaru snatched his hand from the body and took the pitcher of water in hand, filling a glass. With as much care as he could, he pressed the glass to Neji's lips but the water dribbled out as he remained unconscious. So deep was the fever and his sickness that he couldn't respond even to the presence of water.

"Fuck." Shikamaru wiped at the water. Barely any made it through his lips.

Tapping his fingers together and staring at Neji, an idea sparked in his mind. He brought the glass to his lips and took in a mouthful. Lowering his lips, he pressed Neji's jaw open with his fingers and created a suction of his lips so that none of the water would escape anywhere except down the throat. The body beneath him jerked and the throat began to work to swallow the liquid.

Again and again Shikamaru passed liquid from his lips to Neji. When he deemed enough of the water drunk, he began bathing the body again in cool water. He was vaguely aware of the maid returning several hours later with a tray containing a plate of food for him and a bowl of broth for Neji.

He repeated the actions with the cooled broth. He was trapped between feelings of disgust at pressing his lips to another man, and with an intense need to make reparations for what his actions had caused. If mouth to mouth was the only way to ensure the liquid made it into Neji's body, he would do what needed to be done. Jiraiya was right. This was on his head.

Hours melded into days. Nearly three days passed before, Neji's fever reached a peak. His unintelligible words bled together until finally, near midnight, the fever broke in a rain of sweat. His breathing evened out and his sleep eased.

Shikamaru collapsed into the chair arranged at the bedside. He did not have the strength to walk the few feet to the cot. His eyes fluttered closed and his breathing slowed to match the easy rise and fall of Neji's chest.

oOo

Shikamaru jerked awake at the touch of a hand on his wrist. The startle sent the chair he was seated in toppling over. Pain shot through his back as he struggled to his feet. Sleeping in a chair was definitely not preferable to a bed.

"Damn."

Those intense, pale eyes watched him move around the room. They never seemed to blink as they followed his movements. A frown pulled down the flesh around his lips and a wrinkle appeared on his brow.

"Where am I?"

The rich, deep voice rolled over him. The fever and lack of use left it slightly hoarse, yet it retained its rich texture. The accent present only added an exotic tone to the already rich sound.

"Captain Jiraiya's home."

Neji's eyes narrowed visibly, anger plainly displayed on the previously neutral features. "Where is he?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Tell me where he is or I will kill you to get to him."

Shikamaru scoffed as Neji struggled to bring his body into a sitting position. "You couldn't kill a horse fly in your condition. You've been sick for several days."

"I nearly died at the hands of those who serve Jiraiya. Now I know the attack on my home was his intention." Neji's thin fingers clenched in the coverlet thrown across his legs. "He will pay."

"Jiraiya did not attack you."

"Then why was my village attacked?" Neji sat forward, his body shaking with the effort not to collapse once more to the bed. "Only those who sail under his banner know the location of my home. I watched him swear an oath to my uncle before our elders. He swore that neither he, nor any man under him, would speak of our home."

"And I hold true to that oath."

Shikamaru turned on the balls of his feet to see Jiraiya standing tall in the doorway. His loose white shirt billowed around his massive frame. Hair, white with age, was pulled back from his face. The usual humor present on his features was absent. The man before them was every bit the powerful captain that had ruled the seas for several decades despite the best efforts of authorities.

"Captain Jiraiya."

Jiraiya moved into the room and closed the door with a snap. "You want to kill me? Since when does a Hyuuga seek to kill an ally. They can be so few."

"You sent a ship to attack my village. They are all dead." Neji's voice never once showed his grief. Only anger was present as his words turned to those of his birth. _"I am the last Hyuuga."_

Jiraiya stiffened and stepped forward. "You're sure?"

"The ship came when the moon was covered by clouds. The villagers could not withstand the attack. We stood no chance of overcoming an attack with cannons, pistols, and muskets. Our village is peaceful, mostly fishermen and their families. Nearly all were slaughtered."

Jiraiya sunk into the chair and placed his face in his hands. "Everyone?"

"A few villagers survived but none of my family. Our complex was raided. I was away from the village. Only you and your crew knew where our village resided and how to transverse the rocks into the cove."

"Captain?" Shikamaru had never seen Jiraiya in such a state of distress. "Are you alright, Captain?"

"I did not order the attack." Jiraiya shifted his gaze to Shikamaru, grief still etched in the wrinkles of his face. "Who could have done this?"

Shikamaru frowned, his arms folded across his chest. He knew of only one person who would be malicious enough to use his knowledge in such a way to cause the most pain. "Hidan."

"What?"

"Captain Pein tossed him from the ship," informed Shikamaru. "He was causing trouble. I knew the captain should have killed him, but Hidan had been with the crew for so long."

Jiraiya sighed heavily. "Like always. Even with his tendency to cause trouble, we placed trust in him."

"He is the only one. He is one of the few who served under you before joining Captain Pein's crew." Shikamaru glanced at Neji. "He could have taken up with another crew and offered them the riches hidden in the Hyuuga strong hold."

"So you are to blame."

Jiraiya sighed deeply. "No more than your uncle for trusting outsiders."

"My uncle is not to blame," hissed Neji.

Jiraiya sighed once more. "Hidan is a loose cannon."

"It could take years to track him down," murmured Shikamaru. "He will have probably gone into hiding because he knows you would discover his betrayal of the Hyuugas and consider it a betrayal against you. I doubt he'll do much of notice, regardless of what crew he joined."

"Neji Hyuuga, nephew of Hiashi, I offer you protection and a chance to find vengeance on the man who killed your family. I offer my own life, but know that if you take it, yours will end shortly afterward and you will never have the chance to kill the man who is truly to blame." Jiraiya's face was serious. He meant each word spilling forth from his lips.

Shikamaru stiffened and glanced sharply at Neji. He could see the indecision playing across his face. His choice was hard--instant gratification or waiting for the true betrayer to be brought forth.

Neji's pearly eyes narrowed and his lips flattened to a thin line. "I will…wait."

Jiraiya nodded and stood, turning to Shikamaru. "You're not off the hook yet. He's your responsibility...indefinitely, and if I ever hear of you shucking this duty, I'll feed you to the sharks myself."

A chill worked down Shikamaru's spine at Jiraiya's murderous glare. He had forgotten just how vicious a man the older captain was. Jiraiya might have aged and mostly retired from a life at sea, but he was still spry enough to destroy Shikamaru if he wished it. He was a dangerous enemy to have.

"Aye, Captain."

"Good."

Shikamaru glanced to where Neji lay. His body collapsed beneath him and the former strength he displayed when Jiraiya initially arrived dissipated. He suddenly looked every bit the weak man sickness had made him.

"I have patience," whispered Neji. "I will kill this…Hidan, but do not think that I forgive what you have done. Those under you allowed this to happen."

Jiraiya nodded stiffly. "You're right. This tragedy lies on my head just as much as it does Hidan's."

oOo

"I wish to bathe."

Shikamaru cracked open an eye. He grew tired of the silence always filling the room and chose times he was not waiting on Neji to nap. "There is fresh water in the pitcher."

Neji's lips turned down in a frown. "I wish to bathe, not wipe at my skin with a damp cloth."

"I am not dragging a tub and buckets of water up here for you to take a bath."

Neji's lips pursed outward. "I am not an invalid. I will go seek a bath."

In the passing weeks, Neji had grown stronger. His body filled out and only a slight weakness in his limbs told of his bout with near death. He was definitely no longer in need of a servant to feed and bathe him. With a bit of a wobble in his gait, he stood from the bed and walked barefooted from the room.

Shikamaru debated for nearly ten minutes. His mind continued to provide pros and cons to following him. This was one of the few breaks he might have.

In the end, his fear of Jiraiya's wrath won out and he trotted down into the kitchen where the tub was located. Seeing no one but the cook and the maid going about their chores worried him. Neji should have been relaxing in the bath behind the silk curtain arranged in the corner.

"Where is Neji?"

The maid smiled politely. "Master Neji left a while ago. 'E asked if there were a spring or river 'e could bathe in. I offered to 'eat 'im some water for the tub but 'e said no."

"Damn it. Where did he go?"

"Polly told him about that bit of a waterfall pool near the end of the river. It has a nice deep pool and is fairly secluded," added the cook as he brought his cleaver down on a large piece of meat. "He seemed interested."

Shikamaru muttered a thank you and took off in the direction of Neji. He knew the area and was familiar with the pool. It was a favorite spot of his when he wanted to be alone. The river began underground and its water still contained a chill despite the warm weather. Few bothered to walk far into the wooded parts of the island when they could easily heat water on the fire for their baths. 

As he neared the area, he heard a splash, and then a gasp. Peering through the brush, he found himself staring at a thin, cream colored back. Dark tendrils of wet hair stuck to the creamy flesh. A few suds from the lye soap formed on his shoulders as his hands moved the bar back and forth before beginning to scrub at the long dark hair.

The very edge of the dark valley formed by the buttocks was barely visible over the lapping water. Shikamaru swallowed and clenched his eyes closed. Never had the body of another man even remotely drawn his gaze. His right hand was always his best friend when no women were around to offer relief for his natural urges. Now, he found himself intrigued by the creamy skin of a very masculine man.

Thinking Neji feminine for even an instant was simply inconceivable. His hair, long and flowing, was the only characteristic even remotely woman-like. His attitude and build were very much that of a man. There was not an ounce of delicate on his body. Delicate frames were what Shikamaru most longed for in a woman, and yet, he was staring unabashedly at a man who was the near opposite of what he thought most attractive.

A twig snapped beneath Shikamaru's foot, and Neji froze where he stood. "Who's there?"

Shikamaru released his pent up breath and moved through the hidden brush. He saw Neji tense for the briefest of moments before relaxing and continuing to scrub at his body, now facing Shikamaru to reveal tightly budded nipples and slightly chill bumped skin.

"Oh…it's you."

"You shouldn't be in that cold water." Shikamaru nearly collapsed in relief that his voice did not shake while speaking.

"I am fine." Neji's hands left his hair and began to rub the soap over his chest.

Small suds caught on his nipples and Shikamaru nearly groaned. He moved quickly to a nearby tree and settled beneath the branches with the tips of his feet dangling into the cool water. Neji was a curiosity and drew his attention. Anything that drew Shikamaru's attention was worthy according to his body. A particularly good game of dice would likely make him hard, so the slight twitching in his pants at seeing Neji bathing was nothing but his body expressing its curiosity.

"You do not have to follow me. I will not kill Jiraiya."

Shikamaru closed his eyes and smirked. "I detect a distinct yet in that sentence."

"I will not kill him if justice is found in this Hidan you speak of."

"Hidan will get his comeuppance."

The water splashed and Shikamaru regretted opening his eyes. A completely nude Neji walked towards the shore. Droplets of water traced paths down his body, pearling in the dark curls surrounding his dick. His body, still slightly undernourished, had filled out nicely with only the slightly concave nature of his abdomen as a sign of his previous bout with near starvation.

"He will die."

Shikamaru turned his gaze towards the light filtering down through the leaves. "You're certainly focused."

"My family was all I had. They will be avenged."

He felt Neji settle in the grass beside him. He could practically feel the heat radiating from the body despite him having just stepped from the cool water. Even after the fever broke, Neji's body radiated heat.

"Do you have a fever?"

Neji paused while braiding his hair. "My blood runs hot."

"Come again?" Shikamaru was sure his dick was acting with a mind of its own as it twitched again at the words.

"We produce a lot of heat…my family." Neji tied off the end and relaxed against the tree. "It is how we are."

"Why do you still want to kill Jiraiya?" Shikamaru asked calmly. "He didn't know."

Neji was quiet for several moments. "Someone must pay."

Shikamaru had never lost anyone. He could barely recall his family. They were a vague memory trapped on the edge of his mind. He had survived by picking pockets in a port town until Asuma found him and brought him to Jiraiya. Asuma was more of a father than the fleeting memory of his actual father. If Asuma were killed, he would track down his murderer to the ends of the earth.

"And afterwards?" asked Shikamaru.

Neji shifted slightly beside Shikamaru. "I do not know."

The honesty in his words caused Shikamaru to smile. "You'll think of something."

A small smile creased Neji's lips. "Perhaps. I have not thought of afterwards."

A comfortable silence stretched between them. Shikamaru found himself enjoying the company Neji brought. It was similar in some ways to his relationship with Asuma. There was no need to talk. They could simply enjoy each other's presence.

Closing his eyes, a smile curled across Shikamaru's lips. Perhaps being around Hyuuga would not be so bad. He pushed aside his earlier lusts and made a mental note to visit Sasori's tavern at his first opportunity. He was imposing his personal bout of overly long celibacy onto Neji. Everything he had felt earlier was because of his lack of physical release of late.

Yawning, he stretched his arms over his head. It would be a few hours still before the best wenches were readily available. Until then he needed something to pass the time. 

His gaze shifted to Neji, his smile widening. "Have you ever played dice?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after Chapter 17 of Seaswept.

Neji stood silently watching the waves swell and crash against the hull of the ship as it plowed forward towards the unseen horizon. He had thought ending his decade long search for those who directly brought about the destruction of his family would be more satisfying. Instead, he was left with a strange empty feeling. It ate at his insides, twisting them with horrid clenches threatening to weaken his knees.

For so long his gaze was focused only on the objective at hand, finding and avenging the death of his family. The friendships he made were pushed aside under his all-consuming focus. Each night, his dreams were haunted by the sight of his younger cousins laying beaten, pirate seed mixing with blood on their thighs while eyes stared forward in sightless agony--their last sights being the laughing of men as they took turns on them before finally allowing their agony to end after hours of torture.

Closing his eyes, he pushed back the ever present nausea brought by the strong memories. He would not allow such a shameful act to be seen by those on the ship, even if it took every ounce of his strength. Years of hard earned restraint and determination assisted him in maintaining his willpower against the torment brought on by memories still fresh in his mind after ten weathering years.

"Hinata, Hanabi, I have fulfilled my vow to you," he whispered into the soothing breeze. The faintest of mist dampened his face as if the two girls, who he had made it his purpose to protect, were offering their own sort of comfort, though it did little to ease the weariness and sadness in him.

A shadow fell upon the sun bleached wood of the railing surrounding the upper deck of the ship. The presence several steps behind him did not speak or offer words of comfort. None were needed for it was the mere presence of someone that eased the pain.

Silence spread heavy and thick between them until Neji turned to see Shikamaru standing in a slightly hunched position. His dark eyes were calculating and sharp as they took in every inch of Neji's frame from his carefully braided hair to the tips of his boot clad feet and the spray of red droplets still staining the material of his loose fitting shirt. It was pointless to hide from Shikamaru for his keen mind would easily ferret out the truth eventually.

"Did it help?"

Of course, Shikamaru knew it had not. It was visible in his eyes even if the words held no trace of his understanding. In many ways, he was similar to Neji. He could see through even the most stringent guard.

"You know it did not." Neji lifted a hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "Both of us always knew it would not hide the memories."

"Yet you still fixated on little else all this time."

A mirthless chuckle escaped his throat. "My honor demanded it of me. I had hoped-"

"The future does not effect the past. It is the past that tints the future." Shikamaru spoke as if he could read Neji's every thought. It was disconcerting and at the same time, welcome.

He closed his eyes and took a deep inhalation of salt tinted air. "I had hoped something would change."

"It did."

Lids lifted to reveal pale eyes staring at Shikamaru's calm visage. "Oh?"

"You can live for yourself now instead of for others." A smirk tilted up the corner of Shikamaru's lips. "Which was the ultimate end, wasn't it?"

Neji leaned against the railing and tilted his head back to stare at the activity bustling along on the mast. "Hinata would have said I should have been doing so all along."

Shikamaru shrugged a shoulder. "You aren't Hinata."

"I couldn't be there for her when she needed me. She was my sister regardless of blood. I will always think of her as such. Hanabi as well. To think even after slaying that man, the past could not be put right."

"Did you expect it to be so?"

Neji shook his head. "I had hoped something would change in me."

Shikamaru sighed and took a step forward, closing the distance between them. His hand lifted and clasped upon Neji's shoulder. "Neji-"

A shudder went through Neji's frame, and for a brief moment, he allowed the touch before moving away. Shikamaru was the only one allowed to touch him so casually, and even then, only for short periods of time. Even now, knowing all that the two had been through, he could not bring himself to allow the touches graced upon him to extend beyond that of friend. Despite having kept his distance, he could not halt the faint flush of wistful longing rushing through him.

"Oy! Get off your arses and get to work."

It was both a welcome and unwelcome shattering of the moment by Kisame. Neji shrugged off the memory of the touch and immediately moved to the rigging only to have Shikamaru reach out and latch onto his arm.

"We'll talk later after dinner."

The words were spoken casually, but held so much promise. Or, perhaps it was only his own longing that called forth thoughts better left buried. With no focus left inside him, Neji felt empty. He no longer held a direction. The Hyuuga village was gone, leaving only a few pitiful fishermen, if they were still there at all. Returning to his former home was a pointless endeavor. There was nothing left for him there and now with his mission completed, nothing for him here either. He still housed more than a passing distaste for Captain Pein, but could not foist the entire blame upon him for it was an act of mercy on Pein's part that allowed the Hyuuga to be destroyed. Even Neji could not hold such an action against him.

The only option left for him was to lose himself in the physical labor until the numbness faded. Perhaps he could redefine his purpose. There was always the option of marriage, though the thought offered little pleasure be the woman maid or wench. He made a mental not to reconsider the option at a later time when the pain in his chest was not so poignant.

To free his mind from the thoughts, he threw himself into work. The muscles beneath his light shirt bunched and stretched as he went about duties in an almost automatic motion. He did not notice the cuts upon his arm or the burns upon his hands until the call for dinner when the block upon his mind opened enough to force him to realize his lack of personal care while completing his duties.

He moved towards a barrel of seawater and scooped a dipper onto his arms and hands, biting back a whimper at the stinging pain. His eyes clenched tight and he bit down harshly upon his lower lip to fight the urge to voice his pain until the stinging faded.

"You're an idiot."

Eyes snapped open to find Shikamaru standing before him with double portions of food cradled in his hands. "Is that mine?"

Tanned hands offered him a bowl filled with fish stew and a coarse piece of bread. Neji was careful to hide his pain as he took the bowl and settled down on a barrel tied to the deck. His fingers used the harder crust of the bread as a spoon to scoop up the larger chunks of meat and vegetables before sopping up the remainder of stew with the softer interior.

The food was plain and hearty, but eating it brought about a longing for the fare of his childhood. He missed the sticky rice and warm tea along with roasted fish. The memory of Hinata's miso soup brought forth renewed longing and bitterness. He could feel dark eyes on him and knew without looking that his thoughts were likely evident on his face.

"What do you think of Itachi locking away his brother?"

Neji almost smiled at Shikamaru's choice of topic in drawing him from his morose thoughts. "Wise."

"And if it was your brother?"

"I do not have a brother."

Shikamaru snorted. "Well then, what about that man the captain brought aboard?"

"Juugo." Neji glanced towards the shadows where the large man sat, his food cradled in his hands, but not eaten. "He is a hard worker."

"I heard he was the brother's lover."

"You sound like a gossiping fishwife." Neji's brow arched. "Who told you that rumor?"

"Most of the crew saw how he reacted when the man was led onto the Crimson Cloud. That sounds more like a lover than a friend."

"I don't care who they fuck in their spare time, just as I don't care who Kisame fucks or who you fuck." Neji slid from the barrel and moved towards the steps leading below towards the galley so to return the bowl to Chouza.

"Wait."

Neji stopped at the deep voice, turning to see Juugo standing on the steps leading down. "What is it?"

"Take this to Sasuke." Juugo extended his uneaten meal to Neji. "I'm not allowed to see him."

Neji frowned at the offered food. "He will be fed. I know all too well what the brig is like and will not expose another to long there without food and water."

Turning on his heel, he did not fail to see Shikamaru wince from where he stood behind Juugo. It was a bitter memory between both, though in a way, it aided them. Without Shikamaru's neglect, Jiraiya would not have assigned him to care for Neji as he recovered and they would not have had each other's company over the passing years. It was a subject nether chose to breach unless forced to do so, but never far from either's mind.

"Thank you," mumbled Juugo, taking his food back to the deck and settling down to eat the now cold stew.

Neji dropped his bowl off with Chouza before grabbing an additional bowl of stew and a piece of crusty bread. He always hated the brig and avoided it if possible. The cold moldy air always sent chills down his spine as if death was waiting for him in the dark shadows below. Seeing the man sitting silently behind the wrought iron cell, he approached cautiously and extended the bowl.

"I have food."

Dark eyes stared from a tightly drawn face. "Thank you."

"Your friend, Juugo was worried about you."

Lips quirked in a half hearted smile. "He does that."

Neji nodded and passed the bowl through the large holes in the cell and turned to leave. The less time he spent in the brig, the better he would feel. His stomach was already clenching tightly in the enclosed space.

"Wait."

The words gave Neji pause, causing him to turn and stare at the man. "What is it?"

"Have you seen my brother?" There was desperation in the words as well as the eyes. The previously tightly controlled gaze now stared insistently at Neji.

"No."

Neji exited the room before he was forced to remain any longer. He nearly doubled over as he slammed the door closed. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest and his breath was gasping out. Even after so long, memories of hovering on the edge of death while bathed in his own excrement and forced to drink his own piss was not a memory he wished to bear.

He was surprised to see Shikamaru leaning against the narrow hallway leading from the brig towards the upper decks. Shikamaru was haunted by the brig just as Neji, but for different reasons. It was visible in his eyes, if only for a moment.

"Have a nice visit?"

"We did not talk much," said Neji. "Why did you follow me?"

"You don't like the brig."

Feeling his temper flare, Neji could not stop the growl from rolling off his tongue. "Why does it matter to you?"

Shikamaru shrugged and turned to leave. It was always like that with them. Much like with gentling a feral dog, he knew when to withdraw his hand for fear of having it bitten off.

"Are you playing dice tonight?" called Neji before Shikamaru disappeared up the stairs leading up.

Shikamaru cocked his head and glanced leisurely over his shoulder, a small smirk tilting up the corner of his mouth. "Interested in joining me?"

"I would be a fool to wager against you, wouldn't I?"

Shoulders were shifted as Shikamaru shrugged. "Perhaps, but we both know you are just as good a liar as I…and just as strong in reading others."

This time it was Neji's turn to smirk. "Are you trying to inflate my pride enough to join you in wagering my hard earned gold?"

"Is it working?"

Neji shook his head, moving to Shikamaru. "Why try so hard?"

Shikamaru considered for a moment. "Because you need the distraction."

"Then, I challenge you, Shikamaru." Neji moved close so that their noses nearly touched and their eyes locked. "I challenge you to a game."

Shikamaru did not smile or tease. He merely held his place, staring intently into Neji's face. "Stakes?"

"Gold isn't good enough for you?" Neji pushed back, though he kept their eyes locked. "What do I have that you want?"

"What are you willing to give?"

Neji's lips tightened. "Fuck you."

He pushed past Shikamaru and set about climbing the stairs. Neji hated that about Shikamaru. He never said anything straightforward. Every moment of every day, he seemed to calculate everything, even the words passing his lips. It was frustrating to no ends like a never ending game of chess. Each word or action was a moment on the board just to see how others would react while already calculating all possible reactions.

A hand latched onto his wrist and his body reacted without thinking. Immediately, he his other arm shot out and slammed into Shikamaru's jaw, sending him crashing to the ground. A small trickle of blood dribbled from his lips where his teeth cut his lip.

"That was interesting."

Neji swallowed the thick lump in his throat at the blood visible on his friend's chin. "My apologies."

"Does this mean we aren't going to play?"

A few deep breaths to calm his frustration gave Neji a moment's respite. "Fine."

Helping Shikamaru to his feet, Neji led the way topside. Laughter and shouts came from the large space where crew hammocks were hung. Most of the crew not assigned to night watch were likely there, gambling away their spoils. On most nights, Shikamaru could be found there as well.

"Do you have dice?"

Shikamaru smiled and slipped away, returning several minutes later with two cups and ten identical dice. The game had begun. Or perhaps it had begun long before Neji ever approached the topic. Knowing Shikamaru, that was likely.

"Wager?"

Neji's nibbled on his lip. "One gold piece per game."

Shikamaru's lips twitched. "Then, let's begin."

They shook their cups and slammed the dice to the deck before them. Neji peaked beneath his cup, careful to keep his face as neutral as possible. Shikamaru was exceptional at judging the thoughts going through the minds of his opponents. With his pupils barely visible in his eyes, Neji held a slight advantage in the game.

The advantage was slight, it was barely there when playing against a master such as Shikamaru. It in no way evened the odds between them.

"Two twos," began Neji.

Shikamaru's face appeared drowsy and uninspired. "Five fours."

Neji fought the urge to clench his teeth. He had three fours in his cup. Had Shikamaru read him so easily? "Six fives."

Shikamaru arched his brow. "You're a liar, Neji."

Unable to stop his hand from clenching around the cup, he lifted his cup to show three fours and two fives. Shikamaru lifted his cup to show two twos, one three, and two sixes.

"Damn it." Neji reached into the pouch he kept at his waist and tossed Shikamaru a gold coin from the interior. "What gave me away?"

"Nothing." Shikamaru smiled and scooped his dice into his cup. "Lucky guess."

"And the captain is a fish," Neji grumbled under his breath.

"Would you be opposed to upping the odds?" asked Shikamaru casually.

A shiver of foreboding worked through Neji. He eyed his friend with trepidation, suddenly feeling as if he had walked into a carefully laid trap despite proceeding with the utmost caution. Shikamaru's dark eyes held a gleam of interest and intrigue as if he was silently calculating Neji's response in his mind.

Neji was proud of himself for maintaining his calm voice. "What is the wager?"

He watched calculating eyes. Wheels constantly spun behind Shikamaru's gaze. There were few times when his mind was obviously quiet.

Shikamaru tented his fingers and leaned against a latched barrel. "I want a kiss from you if I lose."

"What?" Neji could not stop his jaw from dropping open. Shikamaru had never made a single advance to him during their long friendship. Things were kept platonic and natural for nearly ten years, yet now he was seeking to break the innocent bond they possessed, possibly destroying a decade long friendship in the process. He refused to acknowledge the subtle thrill working through him. It was something always nudging the back of his mind and always kept tightly latched. With Shikamaru's carefully placed words, the latch was breaking free in noticeable increments.

The small smirk ghosting on the edges of Shikamaru's lips widened. "You heard me."

"Why?"

The skin around Shikamaru's right eye twitched. It was the first tell Neji had ever seen him display in all their years of knowing each other.

"Curiosity." Shikamaru shrugged a shoulder. "Does it matter? A kiss is what I want."

Neji bit the inside of his jaw until a flood of warm copper flavored his tongue. "And what will you offer to match the bet?"

Shikamaru smiled, his eyes twinkling. The asshole knew he had Neji within his grasp. "Anything I possess."

"All the money you possess on your person at this time."

"Done." Shikamaru gestured for Neji to collect his die. "Begin."

The dice rattled about in the cups and were immediately slammed down to the deck in the space between the two. Neji peered beneath his cup. "Three Threes."

"Four twos."

"Five Fours."

"Six sixes."

Neji fought a grin from spreading across his face, his eyes darting between his and Shikamaru's cup as he decided whether to bet again or to call Shikamaru on the bet. He had one six beneath his cup and the chances of Shikamaru having five sixes in his was nearly impossible. "You're a liar."

Shikamaru smiled and lifted his cup, revealing each of the five dice beneath. Five dice, all revealing six carved holes in them stared up at him.

"Son of a bitch." Neji lifted his cup to reveal his dice along with the single six.

Shikamaru settled back with an easy smile. "I win."

"You cheated."

Shikamaru's brow rose. "I am a pirate."

Neji's brows drew down in a furious frown. "How did you do it?"

"I didn't cheat," stated Shikamaru with a role of his eyes. "My dice simply landed that way."

Hands clenching in fists, Neji fought the urge to plow his fist once more into Shikamaru's amused face. His honor refused to renege on a wager. It was something he was certain was taken into account when the wager was presented.

Shikamaru closed the distance between them. His movements were slow and cautious. "I won't touch you. Just a kiss."

Nodding shakily, Neji allowed the approach, his hands clenching spasmodically. At the first touch of slightly chapped lips against his, he nearly pulled away. The last time someone had kissed him was before the death of his family. He took whores from time to time, but never kissed them or allowed them to kiss him. Now with the soft brush of lips on his, he was having trouble keeping his body from shaking at the intimacy the act represented. It roused both distress and arousal.

A quick flick of a tongue across his lower lip was a parting gesture as Shikamaru retreated. The kiss was innocent, more so than he expected when wagered against the contents of a money pouch.

"I think that is enough betting for tonight." Shikamaru stood in a graceful motion.

Neji watched in silence at Shikamaru's retreat before finally lifting his fingers to his lips. A door had been opened in that single act. They could never go back.

oOo

Stopping stiffly as he reached the lower steps leading from the top deck, Shikamaru leaned against the wall, pressing his brow to the damp wood and releasing a low groan. His lips still burned from the kiss, chaste though it was. His body thrummed alive and his mind whirled wildly with his thoughts.

He always kept his relationship with Neji platonic and friendly. Not since seeing him bathing that one day, ten years prior, had he allowed himself to think of his friend in any way but that of a friend. He had broken his first rule with Neji.

That slight brushing of lips could hardly be called a kiss, yet it was sending all sorts of undesired sensations through his body. He wasn't sure why he had demanded a kiss as payment for a loss, yet his lips had seemed to move without consulting his mind. Or perhaps, it was his heart that demanded what his mind refused to allow.

"Damn it." He cursed himself for losing control and possibly destroying the friendship that rivaled his relationship with Asuma. No member of the crew, except for Asuma and Neji, could say they were true friends with Shikamaru. The only other coming close was Itachi.

"Shika?"

Shikamaru's eyes shot open and stared at Itachi standing before him. Long hair was pulled back in a loose braid, a slender beaded lock hanging separate from the rest. The deep set, dark eyes looked troubled and his lips were pulled tight in a strained frown. His brother's presence was weighing hard on him and the knowledge was plastered across his face. There was something else well hidden in those dark eyes. Were Shikamaru not more focused on his and Neji's odd relationship, he might have set about seeking out what secrets Itachi hid in his mind.

"What are you doing here?"

Shikamaru shrugged and jerked his head towards the upper deck. "Neji and I were playing a game of dice."

Itachi nodded and shifted his gaze from Shikamaru towards the steps further down the narrow hall leading deeper into the hull of the ship. It did not take a master at deduction to know where his superior officer's thoughts lay. The man might have grown more proficient at hiding his emotions, but little could escape Shikamaru's knowing gaze.

"Neji fed your brother."

Itachi jerked his gaze back to Shikamaru. "I see."

"You should go see him. It's been ten years, hasn't it?"

Dark eyes grew pained before Itachi's mask was replaced. "I'll be sure to thank Neji for caring for my brother."

Shikamaru watched the man go with a shake of his head. He was just as fucked up as the rest of the crew. Everyone had their own demons to handle, some were simply more capable of hiding them than others. It was probably appropriate that their purpose in life was to steal for their own pleasure and amusement, for each member was cursed with something eating away at their soul.

Ribald laughter reached his ears as he entered the large bit of space designated for the crew to hang their hammocks. A few men snored loudly in the swinging begs, but most were crowded around a group playing dice.

"Care to join us, Shika?" asked Asuma as he looked up from his cup. "Most have money to blow after divvying the spoils today."

Judging from the groans, several of the men did not welcome the invitation. Most knew Shikamaru was better than all of them when it came to playing Liar's Dice to the fullest potential. Him joining the circle would ensure someone would be losing gold to him.

"Not tonight. It was a full day," he said dismissively.

More than one man breathed a sigh of relief. If not for Shikamaru's preoccupied mind, he might have been slightly offended at the attitude.

He swung himself into his hammock and settled himself with his arms behind his head. Even the laughter and groans from the men, could not distract his mind from what had transpired. There was no turning back from this, which meant he would need to move forward from now on.


End file.
